Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize
