I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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