so that wasnt chicken after all
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
