trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
My bed smells like the plague
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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