i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
