I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
