So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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