that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
