we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I was not drunk enough for that final.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
