I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
My hand turned me down
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
two words...techno handjob
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
