Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This baby is an asshole
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
