we need to drink 2009 down the drain
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
