He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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