batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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