I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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