therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize