The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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