the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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