Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
