i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
