I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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