I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
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