If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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