Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
