Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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