pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Randomize
