but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
