i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Is Oprah even human
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