If i come over, it means nothing
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
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