my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
