he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Randomize
