Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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