I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Sext me about skeletons
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
