Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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