I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
