need another drink. this is the easiest way
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
birth control should be required to get into college
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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