Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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