they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
