Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
