wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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