So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Rumble strips road head = magical
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
