Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
