Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
My ATM looks so different sober.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
