i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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