need another drink. this is the easiest way
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Blood and glitter go together right?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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