I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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