Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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