hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
