i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
