i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
