I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
