i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
