Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize