yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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