I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
