You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
