dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
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