This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize