At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
