you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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