My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Randomize
