I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
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