I need help removing her.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
