my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Randomize
