I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize