hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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