Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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