I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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