Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
and she was petting her beer can
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize
