Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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