A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
