you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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