went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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