you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
